Feels like an end of a chapter…
..of my life. Picked my final ever results for Uni today; the actual result for my three year BA Film and Video course from Glamorgan! Fucking epic, although I only realised the sheer magnitude of the event about 10 minutes before I got there. This piece of paper I was collecting was my grade for all the effort and work that I had put into this course over the last 2 years. I stroll over to the unimpressive table, tell the man my name and BAM in seconds I have the results, in my hands, all concealed in one envelope. It just got fucking serious. I open it and peer in….
To be fair this build-up does it no justice. I literally looked at it and didn’t really understand what the fuck I got
“Lower Second Class Honours” or words to that effect.
Basically a 2:2. Not what I wanted. Fuck.
Turns out that my script, basically the dissertation of the course, fucking sucked the ass of a diseased gibbon. I barely passed it. “What the Fuck?” you may ask. Well I got robbed earlier this year and with that went my work leaving me in a pretty dire situation. I had to restart the whole thing. And now with a shrinking timescale to finish this epic (and there was no doubt that it was epic) I had no time to spare on tutorials or receive help from my lecturer. No time what so ever. Ballsack…right……on…..the face. I definitely think this was a factor in the grading of my script because I know myself that it was rushed. It’s so annoying because I know it could have been good if life didn’t deal me that fucking robbery. Well at least they caught that fucker.
Well three years is over. In a mountain of debt, have no money and a degree I wished I did better in. Maybe I should have gone straight into the industry? Probably have more connections and experience, as well as probably having a few bob. Hmm. I know this may sound ungrateful, like at least I passed right? But this has always been the case with me I’ve always come in at the standard/just about standard mark in every fucking academic exam/course that I take. GCSE’s=average, A levels=average and now it seems BA=average. Considering I CHOSE this course specifically because it appealed to my desires and tastes and it is what I want to follow as a career, I just wanted to get a good mark to show everyone that I do have a fucking idea. Also I wanted to prove people wrong about me, I am not a scrounger, I am not a waster, I am not a slacker! Fuck I just wanted to prove everyone wrong and I failed at it.
You ever get the feeling that you were smart? And then you realize that one day that you’re not smart, just the majority of people are idiots and that you are in fact average.
Ah well. As you can tell I’m a little disappointed.
Tell you what doesn’t help the situation. The fact that I’m moving from my house back to my mum’s place. Freedom and parties are gooooonnnnnneeeee. And will be for the foreseeable future as everyone I know seems to be following suit. No one can afford a place to live thus no parties. Freedom replaced by boredom. Cardiff replaced by Dinas Powys, although thats not too bad. Just feels like I’m taking a step backwards.
Man I am going to miss this house. So much good shit has happened. Going to miss The Wardrobe, it was basically our fifth crazy autistic house member from another universe that we drew on. In fact a new video needs to be made about his adventures. VIDEO COMING SOON>Tomorrow hopefully ?
I suppose there is only one thing left to say….